you know i literally have not had a year in four years straight where someone i know has not died and i am starting to think i’m killing everyone or something. right now my mom or my grandpa are in the running for tragic death 2014. i’m losing my mind and have been drunk for like a week straight. i am too fucking young to have been to this many funerals already. what is old age going to like? will i just not care anymore? will i be able to say, “welp susan’s dead, oh well. everyone dies!”
everyone does die and my logical mind is telling me not to be so upset and at least with my mom and grandpa we knew it was coming from a long way away, unlike the mindfucks of 2010, 11, and 12. and my grandpa isn’t definitively dying yet he’s just almost ninety and has had two strokes and can’t talk anymore and is so depressed that he won’t eat much and has lost a dangerous amount of weight. and my mom might have as many as three years left if everything goes perfectly.